.......... ayoko na.

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 09:46 PM on October 5, 2004.

why do i continue on loving you?

bakit nga ba? cguro kasi kaya ayokong mawala tong feeling na to kasi kahit papano, ito nalang din ung nagpapasaya sakin tsaka bumubuo sa buhay ko. drama naman... pero totoo eh.. kahit masakit.. SOBRAng sakit talaga... wala na talaga akong nakikitang spark of hope eh. as in wala na talaga. feeling ko wla talaga. lakas ng tama niya dun sa babaeng un eh. sobra. ako? wala. wala lang naman ako sa kanya eh. kaibigan. kaibigan LANG. wala naman akong magagawa diba? kung ganon lang talaga tingin niya sakin. ayoko man xang kausapin kasi alam kong masasaktan lang ako, gusto ko parin eh, kasi hindi ko kayang hindi...

leche

tapos nung birthday ko pa, alam niyo bang nung ginreet niya ko eh hapon na. as in tapos na talaga ung araw. uwian na. juice mio. kesyo 'save the best for last' daw. ano ba ibig sabihin noN!?!?!?! nagtext kasi xa sakin nung gabi. nagsorry... ah basta ayoko nang i-elaborate. pero nagtext xa sakin ng 12mn nung bday ko... pero ewan ko ba.. ewn ko na talaga... dapat nga ginagawa ko physics assignment ko eh. pero hindi, ano, di ko na naman xa matanggal sa utak ko. bwiset. parang ayoko na ata mainlab ah.

pero gusto ko.

huh?

labo.

may magagawa pa ba ko? wala na naman eh diba. eto na ko eh. mahirap nang makaahon ulit. *buntong hiningang pagkahaba-haba*

tapos sinabi niya, many times na may regalo na xa sakin, pero asan na??? not that i'm being material ha, pero, di na niya dpat ako pinaasa diba. tska alam niyo, di xa marunong tumupad ng pangako. pero cguro sakin lang, kasi he has this assurance that i'm always here... kaya he just takes me for granted... MANHID... BULAG... gusto kong isigaw sa pagmumukha niyang... 'ANO BA?!?!?! DI MO BA KO NAKIKITA?!?!??!! ANDITO LANG NAMAN AKO AH?!?!?!' tsaka HELLO!?!?!?! NASASAKTAN NA KAYA AKO!'

aray. at eto na naman ako. nagpapakaplastic. kunwari hindi nasasaktan. ngiti lang. para kunwari masaya. kahit kunwari lang... pero sabi nga...

'the eyes reveal what you try to hide...'

shocks ung outreach grabe... as in... ung isang tao dun... waaaaaaaaah... tanong ako kung bakit daw ako malungkot - eh nakangiti naman ako! pero nakikita daw niya sa mata ko... juice ko... nakakalungkot naman...

ano ba kasi na talagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............

ang hirap pang magbigay ng advice sa kanya. eh.. ah.. eh... ano ba yan...

ang hirap talaga maging kaibigan no. kaibigan... kaibigan.. lang...

7 critiqued.

hoo!

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 09:48 PM on October 17, 2004.

i watched two dvds a while ago. 'saved!' and 'the notebook'... hmm.. what can i say? well... both were wonderful i can say...

saved!
this movie starred mandy moore, patrick fugit (who was so damn hot) and other people i don't really know. the other one there was the girl in princess diaries. well anyway, there, the story was really nice, it was about faith in God too, basta, it was really nice. i'm not in the mood to write a movie review. [ha!]

the notebook
*sob*
a tear-jerking movie. most especially the latter parts of the movie. actually, at first i thought i wasn't gonna cry, i was thinking 'man, i wouldn't cry because of this movie... corny ha!' pero look, wala, bumigay rin eh. haha... grabe, hagulgol eh. it was a very very VERY touching movie i tell you... you go watch it.


which reminds me, i watched '13 going on 30' last week, grabe, GANDA! napaiyak din ako eh... lalo na dun sa part na the girl finally admitted to the guy how she felt then the said 'i have always loved you...' aww man!!!! grabe talaga! a very nice movie... sobra... best friends... now look at this, very amusing, got this from bea.

-

5 reasons why boy best friends are the greatest:
1. they make you laugh
2. they protect you
3. they beg you when you are mad
4. they are the sweetest
and...
5. they fall in love with you. üüü

-

mwahahahaha!!! YEBA!!! hahaha.. mga JAFS [just a friend society] nga naman oo.. pero ika nga ni pakner, tama na... we deserve someone better... DIBA?! isang taong talagang magmamahal satin ng tunay.. o diba? sapi na kayo sa KNMO!!! [kapisanan ng mga over!] wehehehe... haaaaay.. sana nga'y over na.. well anyway, don't want to dwell on that anymore, naalala ko tuloy sabi ni jill my LLC, malay mo, anjan lang xa, di mo lang napapansin! mwahahaha... parang baliktad, atin applicable yon ah ten!

hihihihi... alam niyo bang ang GWAPO ni GRIZZLY bear nung thursday?!?!?!! SHOCKS! as in.. ang galiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grabe... [hehehe naghahanap ako ng ibang pagbabalingan ng atensyon at pagmamahal pero.. haha! TAMA NA!] ayun, grabe talaga!!! ang GWAPOOOOO!!!! may pic niya ako sa cell ko! mwahahaha! betchabygollywow. ganda pa ng boses... 'you were my first romance...' 'i will be here...ü'

huwaw. talaga. grabe. as iiiiiiiiiin.

teka lang, pwedeng huling hirit ng drama? hahahaha! [di makatiis!]

kasi wala lang.. iba kasi talaga ung totoong manhid sa nagpapakamanhid lang.... diba? hehehe.. walalang... mas mahirap ngang kalaban un eh, kesa kapag manhid, kasi kapag manhid, wala, tanggap mo na eh, na talagang ganun na un, walang nararamdaman, and anyway, as miss ella has said, no such creature exists. there is no living creature devoid of emotions, but there are insensitive ones. and those insensitive ones are who we call 'nagpapakamanhid'. tipong, they try their best to try to block everything out, pretending that they don't feel a thing - typical defense mechanism of boys... at dahil jan, ayun, wala, they end up being insensitive creatures. gawa sila nang gawa ng ganyan, not thinking of what we might feel... wenkwenkwenk, parang senseless na tong sinasabi ko ah, parang ang labo. di ko maexplain eh. malabo pero malinaw. maayos pero magulo. pag-ibig talaga oo! isang napakalaking oxymoron. *sigh*

a gun can kill, fire can burn, wind can chill, and the mind can learn, anger can reage 'til it tears you apart but the power of a smile can heal a frozen heart.ü

asuuuuus... hahahaha... wala lang.. nakakaloka eh. parang gusto kong magsulat ng storya, kaso tinatamad ako.. ewan ko ba. ewan. ewan. ewan. bahala na si batman.

hearing: can we just stop and talk a while..ü
feeling: okay ü

3 critiqued.

wala lang. yahoo.

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 10:24 PM on October 18, 2004.

parang pare-pareho nalang title ko. puro wala lang. bwahahahaha nakakainis, bat ganon, nung pinapakinggan ko kanina ung 'dreaming of you' ni selena, naiyak ako. wirdo. di naman iyak as in iyak ha, naluha lang... weird. dun sa part na 'wonder if you see me, and i wonder if you know i'm there... if you look in my eyes, would you see what's inside, would you even care?'... juice ko, naiinis ako... ayoko na eh.. pero bat ganon? meaning ba non di parin ako over? aww man.. kala ko pa naman eh.. pero kahit konti nakakalimutan ko na xa... kahit konti lang... diba pakner? diskusyon natin.. hehehehehe konti pa.. kaya yan.. hihihi.... KNMO ata! bwahahaha! haaaaaay...ü buhay nga naman talaga oo.. cguro di pa talaga ako completely over.. imagine, kalahati ng schoolyear ko ata xang minahal at hanggang ngayon nga cguro.. pero... ewan... aba, come to think of it, kalahati na nga ng schoolyear! aba.. college na... noooooooooo!!! haaaaaaaaaaay... cguro nga wala lang talaga ako sa kanya, wala lang, friend, okay. friend lang. alam niyo un, naiinis ako kasi minsan parang wala xang paki.. sadista pa.. ewan ko ba.. di niya lang alam ang sakit talaga... patong-patong na ung tampo ko sa kanya eh, pahapyaw ko lang naman sinasabi sa kanya kasi natatakot ako na kapag pinakita ko naman eh wala lang xang pakialam.. diba mas masakit un? alam niyo un.. tipong babaliwalain ka lang... ganun naman ata eh... manhid kasi... bulag pa. pero oh well, ok lang, masaya na naman ata xa dun sa babaeng un... cge, ok lang.. basta masaya xa.. .:') hehehe drama ko no... nagsisimula na naman ako, matapos ko lang sabihin na ayoko nang magdrama... *isang mahabang buntong hininga*

ay tignan niyo to, hangover eh..

-

P l e a s e B e C a r e f u l W i t h M y H e a r t

If you love me like you tell me please be careful with my heart
you can take it just don't break it or my world will fall apart
you are my first romance and i'm willing to take a chance
that 'til life is through i'll still be loving you
I will be true to you just a promise from you will do
from the very start please be careful with my heart

I love you and you know I do there'll be no one else for me
promise i'll be always true for the world and all to see
Love has heard some lies softly spoken
and I have had my heart badly broken
i've been burned and i've been hurt before

So I know just how you feel trust my love is real for you
i'll be gentle with your heart i'll caress it like the morning dew
i'll be right beside you forever I won't let your world fall apart
from the very start i'll be careful with your heart

you are my first *and you are my last* romance
and i'm willing to take a chance *i've learned from the past*
that 'til life is through i'll still be loving you
I will be true to you *only to you*
just a promise from you will do
from the very start *from the very start*
from the very start *from the very start*
from the very start please be careful with *i'll be careful with* (*my your heart*)

-

wala lang.. hangover! gwapo kasi ni grizzly eh.. hihihi.. [cge lang, grizzly lang nang grizzly para makalimutan un... ] bwahahaha.. ay naku! senti talaga! ano ba naman kasi tong pinapakinggan ko! grabe. change cd nalang kaya.. haha... ikaw na ang may sabi... ay eto pa! basahin niyo, ang senti, nakuha ko kay agats. bwahahaha!

-

i'll put the past behind us if you will

whatever problems we've had, either spoken or felt,
whatever feelings have been hurt for whatever reason,
whether it's been because of a lack of communication or too much communication,
we cannot change what's come between us.

i think sometimes communication can actually make things worse because it may not be possible to explain all the reasons we act the way we do.
we may not be capable of understanding each other's problems, no matter how hard we try, or be able to process every comment, piece of advice, and attitude into the truth as it was intended.
we just may not be strong enough to deal with certain things because of all that's going on in our lives at the moment.

i sense a wall going up between us.
i liked life better without it, and i hope you did, too.
to say "i'm sorry" is an understatement...
i'm sorry if i failed to understand something that you thought i should.
i'm sorry if i've been insensitive to your situation.
i'm sorry for whatever's wrong and for all the reasons it turned out this way.
i'm sorry if you're having a hard time dealing with something in your life and for anything i did or didn't do that has caused our relationship to be less than it was.

i know some things are hard to talk about, but i just wanted you to know that i'd like to patch up whatever's wrong.
i'd like us to get along.
i miss that comfortable feelign we had with eah other.
life is so short;
i don't want there to be tension or bad feelings between us.
i want the best for you.
i want you to be happy.
i'll put the past behind us if you will, so we can get on with tomorrow...

-

asuuuuuuuuuuuuus! para kanino kaya yan...? bwahahaha... bangag talaga ako ngayon. naleleche na ko dito sa internet na to ha, diskonek nang diskonek. wla nang ibang alam gawin kundi mag diskonek! parang nang-aasar eh.. tipong 'ay ayan! may kachat si joelle sa yM! tara! MAGDISKONEK NA KAYA AKO? BWAHAHAHA! PARA MASAYA! ' <- ganyan, ganyan kasadista ung internet ko. bwhahaha... prang si sir pol kanina, sadista, kainis. grr. huwalanghiya talaga yan, maalala ko, alam niyo un! nagbigay nga ng 1week sembreak ang manre, pero ano? WALA! WALANGYA! ang daming pinapagawa! nagsembreak pa sila! pinagdidiskusyunan nga namin ni lloyd kanina to eh, grr tlga, ano ba yan! kasi naman no! sana may pasok nalang, atleast pag nasa klase ka, pwede ka pa matulog! tas hahabol ka nalang after! eh ito, jusmiyo! ika nga ni kim.. punyemas!!! hay nku! buhay talaga oo.

hearing: from the bottom of my broken heart [haha!]
feeling: okay ü

2 critiqued.