let us pause for a moment of silence...

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 05:35 PM on January 3, 2005.

alam kong sa mga oras na ito ay marami ang nagdadalamhati (at may ilan ring nagsasaya at walang pakialam) dahil lumabas na po ang resulta ng exam sa dlsu. no, hindi po, hindi po ako kumuha doon kaya't hindi malungkot ang bagong taon ko, pero marami sa aking mga kaibigan ang nalulungkot dahil hindi sila nakapasa sa skwelahang iyon. marami ang magpaparecon, at ipagdadasal ko sila na sana'y makuha nila ang gusto nila at makapasa sila doon.

at matapos ng lasalle, admu naman! sa january 8 daw ang labas ng mga resulta. kinakabahan ako.. todo. sana makapasa.. sana makapasa.. sana makapasa.. *dasal dasal* tulungan niyo naman akong magdasal ha? salamat.. sa february pa ata up eh.. sana makapasa rin.. *buntong hininga* wish ko lang..

-

weeeeeeeeeee tama na muna yang pressures na yan! magsaya muna tayo... HAPPY 2005! maligayang pasko nga pala at masaganang bagong taon! kamusta pasko niyo? bagong taon? ako? ok lang.. ayos lang.. masaya naman ung reunion namin eh.. siguro maglalagay ako ng ilang pictures balang araw. may pasok na kasi eh, sa weekend na ulit siguro ako makakapagscan. ay nga pala, alam niyo bang halos buong bakasyon, ang sleeping time ko ay alas kwatro ng umaga? minsan pa nga ay 4:30... kaya nga ang oras ng gising ko mga 12nn na... minsan din 1pm na.. hahahahah batugan...

nagpagupit nga pala ako. pinantay ko buhok ko. ang iksi.. haha.. magpopost ako ng pic sooooooooooooooon

nakalimutan ko nga palang isulat dito [tagal ko na kasing di nagpopost]... sobra! alam niyo bang nasira ang cellphone ko.. kasi nag-uupload ako ng mga picture sa computer galing sa cellphone ko.. kasi sa wakas nakabili na rin ako ng connectivity adaptor - hoy ha, nakatipid ako dun! 1k lang! eh ung sa nokia P3,900.. - ayun, eh nung nililipat ko na, ayun, naghang.. naglock phone ko, nagphone restricted ekeke.. so un, nawala lahat ng laman kasi nireformat xa. as in wala lahat... bwiset, picture ni yael nndun.. malas nga eh, pero oh well. siguro kasi balang araw magkikita ulit kami ni yael at hindi lang picture makukuha ko sakanya, pati kiss. hahahahahaha!!!!!

anyway, ayoko nang pag-isipan yan at mafrufrustrate lang ako. tpos na un. bagong taon na! bagong buhay... think positive lagi.. bee hapee [kahit pasukan na naman.. ]

feeling: lonely

2 critiqued.

ang DAMI kong sasabihin.

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 09:58 AM on January 9, 2005.

ang tagal ko nang di nagpopost dito ah.. sobra...

pero unang-una sa lahat.. gusto ko lamang ipamahagi ang mabuting balita... PUMASA AKONG ATENEOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeesssssssss....!!!!!!!!!!!! bwahahahhaa.. ganyan ichura ko nung nalaman ko.. weird.. bwahahhahaha!!!! anyway.. sana totoo.. hahahaah! check ko ulit sa site para makita ko with my own two eyes.. di kasi talaga ako makapaniwala.. kaso wala parin sa site. oh well. so in the meantime, magpaparty muna ako't nanamnamin ko to.

anyway, nag-immersion kami kahapon, natulog kami sa school [oo, natulog kami, mga 4 hours? si bea nga di natulog eh.. haha] so un, 1 per family lang kasi, nung una nga sobrang kinakabahan kami eh.. pero nung malaon, SOOOOOBRAng saya nung activity.. imagine, natuto akong magtiklop ng damit. hahahaha! at nakakatuwa ung mga alaga kong bata.. ang saya-saya nila, sarap na sarap nga sila dun sa niluto kong corned beef [oo, corned beef okey?]... pero napaisip talaga ako kasi sobrang ang hirap don... alam niyo un, umiihi at umeebs sila sa isang butas na siya ring pinagtatapunan nila ng basura [actually, marami pang samu't saring maliliit na butas na maaari ring gawing basurahan sa buong bahay - so, o diba, convenient, kahit saan, may basurahan - itapon niyo lang sa butas!] malaki kasi ung butas na yon, kaya mejo nakakatakot baka shumoot ung mga bata pag umihi.. sa harap nga lang nga bahay nila sila naliligo eh.. imagine that. pero masaya naman.. nagbonding kami dun.. lalo na rt wednesday girls!! yeah!!! sobrang UBE talga... pinuntahan kasi ako nila pao sa bahay ko dun, aba, ang sarap sarap ng siesta ako bigla ba naman akong ginising. hahaha... pero ok lang, masaya naman eh, kung anu-ano pinag-usapan namin tsaka pinagkwentuhan... tapos kanta pa kami nang kanta.. 'ishoot mo ishoot mo..' actually, sa bus pa nga lang eh nagwawala na kami.. kami ata ung PINAKAmaingay na bus sa lahat.. pinoy rock ba naman ang patugtugin diba? YEAH!!! \m/ rock on!!! pinoy rock rules!!! from our opening song 'liwanag sa dilim' to our finale 'bastusan'.. bwahahaha.. sobrang saya talaga.. as in meron nga lang mga ibang kantang singit na hindi namin maxadong nagets.. the barbs ata kumanta nun.. ung may mga conversation. observation chuk chak nila.. so un, ang saya saya talaga.. da best 'lunes' eh.. talagang bigay na bigay!! sabi nga nung ibang bus dinig na dinig kami..

so asan na ba tayo? ayun, todo bonding nga talaga ang rt wednesday.. lalo na nung gabi kagabi.. sobra! da best! ang dami naming napag-usapan at ginawang kagagahan.. from senti-senti [kami ni LL] hanggang sa paranoia namin ni andrea at sa mga dada namin ukol sa kamatayan [oo, morbid talaga kaya nga naparanoid na kami eh] pero in general, sobrang saya talaga... si ten ten kasi natulog agad.. haha! eh ako, kapag inaantok, dinadaan sa kain para tumagal-tagal pa nang konti.. si madz at pao kasi natulog na agad nauna pa kay ten, eh si jenny din sleepy na kaso di makatulog dahil sa lamok so nakahiga lang xa.. so kaming 3 nalang talaga ni andrea at bea ang nagkwentuhan, hanggang sa antukin na kami ni drea at nagliwaliw na si bea kasama ang mga boys. bwahahahah

ang sarap nga pala ng mga kinain namin.. inihaw.. nag-ihaw SILA.. di kami sumama kasi nga diba nag-UBE kami.. may music videos pa yan.. basta, sbrang laf3p talaga.. da best 'to ever

ang ganda nung kanta sa coke no? nakakainspire.. 'malay mo.. nanjan lang, nanjan lang.. ang hinahanap mo..'

pero iniwi, gusto niyo na bang magsenti? bwahahha.. parang di ko pa trip.. basta ang masasabi ko lang, na alam na to ni bea, sinabi ko kasi kahapon.. ayun, basta, there's something weird that's going on between... ah.. eh.. basta, ito lang: December 15, 2004. un lang masasabi ko. actually my pre something pa yan eh.. the day before, Dec.14, dun tlga nagsimula, pero naging official nung 15. ah ewan. nun kasi alam niyo un, parang pa-joke joke lang.. pero ngayon.. parang nagiging seryoso na.. alam niyo un, kinakarir ba? so di ko tlga alam diba.. sabi namin ni bea, come what may nalang.. bahala na si flash [haha].. just let it be..

last vacation.. ewan.. bsta lately talaga.. one word = kinakarir ... from todo-chaneing to sweet talking. waaaaaaah.. lagot. nalagot na. jan.6,2k5. pero may pre something din yan.. nung 5.. waaaaaah. weird. bahala na nga. basta ako masaya, ewan ko sa kanila.

binigyan nga pala akong gift ni ano. ni past. shocking.. pero at the same time very touching. rekindled ba? no way, may girlfriend na xa.

present? well, nothing's changed. ganun pa rin xa. mejo malapit na nga lang ako malantad dahil sa mga sinabi ni bea at dahil sa mga pa-obvious reactions ko. tanga = joelle

future? let's just say that's what i was talking about a while ago. as i said, there's no use contemplating on what's about to happen in the future - in the NEAR future to be exact - because we really never know. we can't control what's going to happen to us, we just have to let it be.. come what may.. we have to accept it. okay? we can't do anything to change anything. 'di ba? no regrets. [teka, parang dapat sa past to ah..] basta, un na un, malabo talaga ako, kulang sa tulog eh. mejo bangag pa..

congrats sa lahat ng nakapasa sa admu!! wahoO! atenista na tayo mga chong! [kung di papasa sa upd ] hahahaha... yahoO!

hearing: daliri - kjwan
feeling: happy.. shalalala.

7 critiqued.

*sigh*

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 08:24 PM on January 21, 2005.

ang tagal ko na ulit na hindi nagpopost... unang-una, umattend kasi kami ng congress last week so busy talaga ako non, tagal ko nang di nag-iinternet.. ym.. lahat.. kaya mejo nababaliw na ko eh.. tapos this week, hanggang nxt week, mt pa.. so hassle talaga... pero ang dami ko sanang gustong sabihin..

pasado nga pala akong UST. un lang. up nalang hinihintay ko.. diliman sana..

un nga palang sinulat ko sa huli kong entry? ung future? wala na un.. tapos na.. may bago na eh... wala na ung past, present, future na yan... iba na... ewan ko. ayoko na munang pag-usapan at punong-puno lang to ng kalabuan at lalo lang akong mababad3p.

bat ba kasi nawala layout ko? kamalasan. ano ba nangyari sa tabulas? pero okey din ung ichura ha.. astig. blue and white.

waaaaaaaaaah. bad3p buhay. lang kwenta. baduy. napakastatic. NR. corny.

nakakainis kasi may papanoorin pa naman akong video, eh lang kwenta ung pc. ang dami ko pang dinodownload..

ang baduy ng palabas.. 'as told by ginger'.. nabwibwiset ako.

kaasar. ang ganda pa naman nung congress last week.. siguro magsusulat ako tungkol dun sometime, di lang ngayon.. bad3p eh. walang gana.

nga pala, may sun na ko. baka may sun kayo, text niyo ko. 09224349545 - ayan. lantad. kunin niyo na.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... buhaaaaay...

feeling: disconcerted

critique?

yet another love lost...

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 10:10 PM on January 23, 2005 and posted a favorite post.

juice ko, bago ko pa maisulat ang isang something something na tungkol sa isang someone someone, aba't tapos na agad. wala na agad. akalain mo un, ang bilis noh? wala pang 5 seconds tapos na. ay ocge, let's make that, 5 days. hahahaha...

anyway, the good thing is, atleast, tulad nga ng sabi ni gia, atleast di pa ko nagfofall sa kanya. tama. bad3p naman kasi eh.. kalabuan talaga oo...

ang labo talaga ng mga lalaki. they're giving me more reasons to give up on them. pwede bang magquit? ang tanga ko nman kasi.. reyna ng mga maling akala. lagi nalang ako nabibiktima ng maling akala.. problema kasi sakin, maxado akong nag-aassume.. tanga nga naman talaga. maxado bang feeling? the problem with us girls is that we imagine too much... we are all caught in a wondrous reverie everytime we meet a DECENT guy whom shows a bit of interest in us. why must we put meaning in everything one does or say? we are all obsessed with meaning. meaning... hirap talaga ng buhay.

joelle = tanga

ayaw ko na. uulitin ko.. pwede bang magquit? if only i could make my heart freeze for a while. make it stop feeling. pwde ba? ayoko na eh.. lagi nalang kasing ganito. ako nalang lagi ung iniiwan... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. shut up joelle. shut up. tama na ang drama. dapat nga nag-aaral ka pa para bukas. kasi naman eh.. aa.. tagos... tama na nga. di naman kasi dapat talaga pinagtutuunan ng pansin yang mga yan. walang kwenta. unimportant dire beings whom one shouldn't care of. lalaki lang yan. hayaan mong cla ang maghabol sayo [un eh, kung may maghahabol man.]

ano bang meron sa mga babaeng chinita? nakabraces? at mukhang inosente? our theory [gia and i] has been proven true due to another realization of the said theory. our theory, being that, men have a sense of attraction to chinky-eyed girls who are 'cute' or 'pa-cute'... innocent-type girls. childish girls. what is it with girls like them? i don't know. maybe guys are just threatened of my superb prowess that they dare not entertain a liking for me. maybe they are afraid to be overthrown or something... xmpre ma-lo-low morale sila, alam mo naman sila.. EGOISTIC. kelangan sila lagi ms magaling.. diba?

waaaaaaah, joelle = slowly becoming a man-hater ... hahahaha!

lagot. paradox tlga. isang malaking oxymoron and mga lalaki. ay hindi pala oxymoron.. moron lang pala.. love pala ung oxymoron. *teeheeteehee*

nakakainis ung mga taong NR no? srap sabunutan at pagpapatayin. nakakainis din ung mga user. users go to hell... [haha labo. ewan. ang sama ko. eto nanaman.. nagsisimula na naman ako..]

good for nothing freaks.

oh no, i'm slowly mutating - yet again - to my cynical own self. hala, nag-eevolve na nman ako, mamaya i'll become the one-eyed abominable snowman. [ha?]

who cares if i'm cynical towards love? or boys? eh they're the ones who provoke me to become cynical. in fact, sila rin naman mismo ang cynical towards me.

ang cute ni deedee tsaka ni mandark no? hahahahaha! anyway, un nga, in continuation to mine and gia's endless convoluted banter... guys are so unfair and fickle and totally, absolutely, positively, certainly, inconsistent.. kala mo one day he's got the hots for you.. totally head over heels for you.. then the next thing you know he's prying pala for your 'prettier' friend. sometimes not even prettier.. CUTER, shall i say? what is it with pretty girls? talaga naman ngang mas tinitgnan ng mga lalaki ang panlabas na anyo, anuman ang sabihin niyong pangangatwiran. sabihin niyo mang 'tinitignan din naman namin ung kalooban ah! in fact, mas importante un!' oh c'mon. lokohin nyong lelong nyo. cge, tinitgnan niyo nga ang kalooban PERo pagkatapos lang na matignan niyo ung panlabas na anyo. you wouldn't even notice a girl who's not as pretty as britney spears or amanda griffin. cge nga, sabihin mo kung mapapansin mo ung babae kung hindi xa ganung kaganda? aysus. girls like that are only labelled as "FRIEND" and nothing more. diba? cge nga. tell me. amen? ameN! hehehehe... lagi namang ung 'magaganda' ang napapansin. teka... note to self: maganda naman ako ah! hahahahahah joke! kapal ng mukha ko no... ay ito, basahin ninyo... a girl's true feelings...

-

1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.


2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to "get over him" after the relationship's over.) -> true.

4. If a girl Loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys. -> haha... hmm..

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt. -> totoo.. biktima ako neto... diba?

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually is not sure how to react to them. -> o? bat ako makapal mukha? hahahah!

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok? -> tama... waaaaaaaah.. joelle = victim.

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start calling her friends to spread the news. -> hahahaa!

14. A smile means a lot to a girl. -> totoo...

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave her.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her. -> di pa ba obvious?

19. Hearing the words "I Love You" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful. -> ow?

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories. -> ha!

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself. -> di ah! sarili ko agad tinitgnan ko! vain ata to..

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls Love having fun!

25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day. -> totoo... kaya mag-hi kayo samen.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through. -> true!

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their "Prettier" friend. -> shall i say, 'cuter'? USERS!

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will Love and care for them. -> tama.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel Loved! -> absolutely TRUE!

-

tama na nga yan. tama nang frustrations. may mt pa bukas! out.

feeling: useless and empty

critique?

prayers do come true

shinomori_misao8 opened her eyes at 09:54 PM on January 25, 2005.

yeah, they do. so believe in the power of your dreams, and survive, starstruck. huh? labo. hehehehe joke lang un... deh,seryoso. prayers do come true. maybe, with enough prayers and faith in God, what you want can come true. basta ba may faith ka at may action - kasi kung wala ka rin naman gagawin wala ring mangyayari. now why am i writing about this right now? i don't know. walalang. i am not to speak of any specific experience whatsoever pero lately kasi talaga... praying has really done me good. i feel much better after talaga nung ADORE... one of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences i've ever had - not to mention the... walalang. hahahaha... ang saya talaga. kaso problema, nako, i think i'm morphing into my old evil self again. nagiging monster na ata ulit ako! hala! must confess soon... the power of confession - hehe totoo, nung nagconfess ako, ang sarap ng feeling, ang gaan. basta make sure it's a good confession para gumana... ang saya kaya, talagang feeling mo babait ka at gagana na ulit ang matagal mo nang tahimik at natabunang konsensya.

okey, ang banal ko na. hindi ako magmamadre... wala akong calling eh. [???]

.social graces and etiquette.

nagkaron kami kanina ng isang 'talk' tungkol sa 'social graces and etiquette' well.. jd and i served as the emcees for the program, and i think we did a pretty good job. despite some inept moments of silents wherein we were not sure if the program was done already or something.. pero as a whole, ok naman xa. masaya. i learned a lot. jd and i were taken as examples pa nga. funny. o diba, POISE! bwahahahahahaha!!! pwede.. pwde... JRP [john robert powers] sosyal! hahahaha! imagine, binibining pilipinas-universe 2002 ung nagtalk samin kanina.. si ms.karen... haha close kami? hehehehehe... astig xa.. makulit, funny, pero sobrang poised! grabe.. astig xa. *stretches* sakit na ng likod ko, hirap palang maging poised. [?] hahahahaha! ewan.

.weird.

what a weird day this is... after receiving a rather green and rude joke from this ADORE person [natawa naman ako pero bastos eh..], walalang. ang weird ng buhay. ilang weeks na kaming hindi nag-uusap ni bespren [gia knows who this is] at hindi kami nagpapansinan sa school. last usap namin ay sa pub [office yan!], nung sinundo ko sila mara... but that was very brief and mababaw... i miss our long senseless yet convoluted conversations - weird noh? . hehehehe.. ewan, miss ko lang cguro kakulitan niya. alala ko o.. halos gabi-gabi kami nagtetext.. when was the last time he texted? tagal na... ages... eons... *sigh* oh well. that's life. but atleast i regained a friend today. [haha, zar!]

.men - incomepetent creatures.

okey, bago ako magpakacynical na naman laban sa mga lalaki, may minessage ako sa friendster na taong gwapo na nakilala namin sa adore, hindi naman exactly nakilala kasi mejo far xa samin nun.. pero naghi xa sakin before the congress ended. now, nagmessage ako, walalang. at hindi pa xa nagrereply. fine, eh di wag. haahhaaha! pati si bespren... nagmessage din ako.. eh mukhang naglog in na kanina.. bat di xa nagreply? hmph.. bahala xa sa life niya. eh ako rin naman.. my bad.. di ko rin xa pinapansin.. pero.. ewan.

bee-ar-bee [0713]

tatawagan ko lang si gia para sa aming 1-hour nightly routine.

i'm back [0949]

okay, so that wasn't exactly one hour... 2 hours din un... hahahaha... more than pa nga. ang dami naming pinag-usapan, from our endless woes to our nonsense evil schemes. and did i mention wallowing in self-pity? yeah, ginawa lang namin kanina. hahahahaha! dang. nabo-bore ako. frustrations fill my head... bad3p. pero ang dami naming natutunan ni gia na new words.. hahaha! very educational phone conversation. napaisip ako sa ginawa namin. sakit ulo - nakakadrain. anyway... magpapadual sim na talaga ako, ang hirap ng ginagawa kong papalit-palit ng sim. feeling ko nga masisira na baterya ko sa kakapatay-bukas na ginagawa ko. baduy naman.. wala pa ring nagmemessage sakin sa friendster. mga ignoranteng manhid! pansinin niyo naman ako! joelle = klsp

.useless internet.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... ang bagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal ng computer na toooooooooo.. interneeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttt............. biliiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssss..........

.the conclusion.

i am sleepy, wasted, tired, groggy, lonely, and pissed. i'm currently bored - tired of waiting.. impatient = joelle ... hay nako, inaantok na talaga ako. baka kung ano pang masulat ko rito. out.

hearing: masaya
reading: past blog entries
seeing: myself wallow in self-pity
feeling: tired and weird

critique?